Follow Through (for thenewnormal)

[neverlooksaway]

[Continued from TFLN]

Michael wasn't sure what he was doing, driving out to the Valenti cabin because Alex asked him to. It didn't make sense, but, then, nothing had since he'd gotten the misfired text. He thumbed back through the texts to look at them again. hot guy...huge crush... He found himself going back to the "huge crush," piece in his head while he drove. Then? Now? Still? Why was Alex planning to seduce him? What had he learned? Was Michael just setting himself up for more heartbreak?

Probably. Alex did this, though, pulled him right back in, made him believe, and then walked away. So, why, again was he backtracking when he missed the turn, taking the right one, rather than heading back to Roswell?

Because he was stupid for Alex Manes, and probably a little bit masochistic.

It took longer than it should have, with the backtracking, but he finally saw the lights of the cabin and turned off into the drive, pulling up to the cabin and cutting the engine off. He could still turn around, go back, but he knew he wouldn't. He was too curious about what Alex wanted here of all places, too keen to know what it was he was talking about, and too desperate to see just how and why he was planning to seduce him.

Still, he kept thinking about turning around even as he found himself at the door, knocking lightly.

Comments

[neverlooksaway]

Michael wasn't necessarily angling for anything else, yet, but he definitely wanted the kissing, cuddling, and touching. He didn't want to keep his hands to himself, and he didn't want Alex to keep his to himself. Each touch of Alex's fingers running over his spine made him shiver, and shivering was better than trembling.

He nuzzled softly at Alex's jaw, nibbling along it, then back to his lips for a soft, but deep kiss.

"You've actually..." He nipped at Alex's lower lip, but just with lips, no scrape of teeth, not yet. "Been very flip-floppy on that point. You could flip again..."

[thenewnormal]

Alex pulled Michael back with a hand in his hair and stared at him as a corner of his mouth slowly started to lift into a grin. "Flip-floppy?" Guerin could get away with sounding dead serious about a lot of things, but Alex couldn't help but chuckle at his use of that word.

"Maybe if you think I'm so--" No, he couldn't use the word without laughing. "--indecisive, you should be the one to seduce me."

He shook his head and leaned in to kiss him again, the smile still spread on his lips.

[neverlooksaway]

Michael narrowed his gaze at the teasing. He was supposed to be eloquent and come up with coherent words when he was wrapped up in Alex's arms, in a real bed, half-dressed?

"Uh uh. I came here with the promise of seduction," he pointed out in a murmur against Alex's lips. Of course, he followed that up with a slide of fingers down over Alex's hip, teasing his fingertips under the edge of his boxers, brushing over the back of Alex's thigh.

[thenewnormal]

This is probably a bad idea. The words were in Alex's head, but they didn't leave his lips. Of course it was a bad idea when nothing between them was really settled but when Michael didn't drive him up the wall, he actually made Alex happy. It was that constant see-saw between emotions that made it so hard and for now, at least, it had absolute swung in favor of happy.

"It doesn't sound as if I'm going to have to do much of the work." Except then he kissed Michael. Kissed him with intent instead of the soft kisses they'd been giving each other up to this point, parting Michael's lips with his and then stroking his tongue much the same way Michael's fingers were wreaking havoc with his senses.

[neverlooksaway]

Michael's emotions had been flying all over the place, out of control, from the moment he'd gotten the first text and through everything since--jealousy, confusion, hope, anger, terror, grief, relief, hopelessness, desire, love, frustration, exhaustion. He'd felt like a yo-yo most of the night, and the adrenaline still flickered along his nervous system.

But the touch of Alex's hand on his skin, the press of his body close, the fact that he was letting him--that he wanted him to--stay: these things were calming the chaos, like music used to, like being in Alex's arms still always did. He didn't even need the kisses, the seduction, for this to be good--not that he was going to say that, especially as Alex's tongue tangled with his and more of the confusion eased under a wave of pure want.

He moaned into the kiss, meeting that intent, encouraging it with his own. His hand slid higher to settle against the curve of Alex's ass and pull them tighter against one another so there could be no doubt about how much he wanted him.

[thenewnormal]

Alex wasn't sure where he was. He knew things. He'd been researching all things alien and so he'd been able to put two and two together. But there were still so many things he didn't know. They hadn't gotten to the point where Michael had decided to stay. Maybe he hadn't wanted to leave his family behind, maybe he couldn't. And maybe what Alex would learn would change his feelings.

Only there wasn't anything he could think of that they hadn't already been through. His feelings were still a mass of confusion with every instinct saying 'mine'. It didn't help unconfuse him that Michael seemed to be saying the same thing back.

The only thing that didn't seem confusing was this, this desire, this need. He moaned softly when Michael grabbed his ass and pulled them together and Alex rubbed against him, sliding one leg between Michael's to give them both a little more friction as they moved against each other.

[neverlooksaway]

Michael hooked his leg around Alex's, hips rolling into him in an unconscious rhythm. He was hard and aching, and that didn't really even matter, so long as they stayed close. The hunger that he felt for Alex was a constant, whenever they were close, but it went so much deeper than the physical. The physical was easy, once he figured out what he wanted. But the desperate desire to be lose himself in Alex, like that was the only way he'd really find himself, too?

That always terrified him, because it made him realize how much power he'd somehow ceded to Alex: heart, body, soul, truth. He'd give him whatever he asked for and just hope it was enough to make him want Michael, need Michael, as much as Michael needed him.

He murmured something pleased into the kiss, fingers easing and tracing over skin without real intent beyond touching--he wanted to touch Alex everywhere, map his skin with fingertips and tongue. He broke the kiss to nuzzle at Alex's jaw, tongue lightly teasing over skin and forgetting completely who was supposed to be seducing whom.

[thenewnormal]

They never had time. That was maybe Alex's biggest regret. He'd long since thought of the way things should have gone. Instead of running into his father, they'd have gone to the diner, maybe, and had a burger and talked. And they would have both been a bit eager and eventually the topic would have come around to their plans for the summer. And with a truck at Michael's disposal, they didn't have to spend the summer in Roswell. They could just drive away and spend the summer actually getting to know each other.

But his dad had cut that timeline short and it seemed like ever since, they'd only been able to capture stolen moments of time. Like this. A stolen moment before Alex found out what could have possibly kept Michael in Roswell. Maybe it was just as simple as Isobel and Max staying, but then why had they stayed? Why had Max gone into law enforcement instead of doing something with his love of literature? He could be a starving artist. No, there was something and this was another moment that would be cut all too short like all their moments since his father had interrupted them in the shed.

A thrill of anticipation and fear washed through him when Michael's lips drifted away from his lips. He told himself he was too old for a hickey, but a part of him was wondering if Michael would. A part of him wanted it. But another part was afraid of the questions that would raise. Being gay wasn't the problem. It was trying to explain his and Michael's complicated past.

Still, he tilted his head back and slid his fingers underneath Michael's shirt. They flexed against Michael's skin, an unconscious gesture urging him on. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to explain.

[neverlooksaway]

Michael hated how they were always pulled apart, though too often, from his view, that was because Alex couldn't accept who he was, the things he did. Once he knew all of it, Michael was pretty sure he'd walk away again. Knowing that, he shouldn't pursue this, shouldn't be pressing closer, shouldn't be nibbling his way down Alex's neck, teasing at the spot over his pulse at Alex's urging.

He was careful, though, even so, tongue teasing, tasting him, but avoiding doing more. Alex had been so sharply against even Isobel knowing. If he couldn't pull himself away from Alex, he could at least let him walk away unscathed.

The sure knowledge that Alex would leave again, though, lent itself to a flare of desperation, to have something, anything, to hold on to when it happened. He reached for the edge of Alex's shirt, pushing it upward, though he lifted his head to look at him, uncertainty flickering in his eyes, mingling with naked need.

[thenewnormal]

Alex let out a shaky breath when Michael pulled away. He should have been feeling like he just got away with something and instead, all he felt was a sense that he'd lost something and that feeling only compounded when Michael paused, shirt at Alex's chest, as if he were waiting on some kind of permission.

He wanted to wipe that look off Michael's face but didn't know how. Every moment between then was fraught with complications and hurt feelings and he couldn't see a path through them. Every time they tried, they just ended up getting caught again. How could he say that yes, he wanted Michael? He always wanted Michael. It was that powerful need that terrified him, even when he could see the same need in Michael's eyes.

He lifted his arms. This was how they spoke anyway when words failed them or only made things worse.

[neverlooksaway]

Michael took the permission, stripping Alex's shirt off and tossing it beisde the bed, then tugging his off and sending it after Alex's. He settled back down, tracing his fingertips slowly over Alex's skin--the line of his collarbone, the hollow at the front of his shoulder, over the swell of his deltoid and down his arm, then back up.

It was a simple movement, but he enjoyed the feel of Alex's skin under his fingertips, the sleek tautness of muscle, the soft, suppleness of the skin itself, the way goosebumps sometimes broke out on it when he did something just right. Details were one way Michael focused, when emotions welled up too high, and studying Alex was something he loved. It kept him from having to think too much.

Ducking his head, he let his lips follow his fingertips, brushing over Alex's collarbone, a flick of his tongue into the dips and hollows, trying to figure out how to say all the words he never knew how to, or at least not without making it worse.

[thenewnormal]

There was such gentleness there that it almost broke Alex's heart. There were parts of him that hadn't waited for Michael. Parts of him that had had sex with other men in the years away. He'd even tried relationships that always seemed to fizzle out within months. Because there was a part of his heart that he'd reserved for Michael and it always seemed wrong to try to be with someone else.

He ran both hands through Michael's hair, not really guiding him anywhere in particular. He wanted the sex, sure, but what he needed was this intimacy. These moments that always seemed to make the other ones, the arguments and hurt feelings, easier to bear. And he knew there were going to be more arguments and hurt feelings. They never seemed to figure out how to stop them, not completely.

One of his hands broke its hold in Michael's hair and slipped down, stroking along his face, his cheeks, his lips. He felt a heavy weight on his chest, like he was drowning, but if that was the case, he didn't want to come up for air.

[neverlooksaway]

Michael hummed in appreciation of the small touches, and nibbled his way down to tease his tongue around one of Alex's nipples. Kissing across his chest, he paid the same attention to the other. Maybe it was ridiculous to want this so badly, this thing that was and wasn't at all about sex.

It was different than with other people, even when they were being far more with the tearing of clothes off. Michael had always enjoyed sex, but his slight taunt the first day he ran into Alex about lots of casual sex? That had pretty much been his life before and after Alex. He didn't let people get close and he didn't want to, often, but everyone needed someone, and his heart and soul were both soaking this up.

There were still things he hadn't told Alex, things that might change things all over again, but having even some of the secrets out, being able to tell Alex who he was? That made him just want to be even closer to Alex, to be with him as openly as he could be, in a way he'd never been able to be with anyone else.

His tongue teased and tasted, and his fingers slid lower, then back up, nothing going below Alex's waist--apparently he was in no rush at all.

[thenewnormal]

Alex and Michael had made up for lost time for those few weeks when life felt it was on hold before his father implanted doubts in him. So he knew what it was like to have Michael's mouth everywhere on his body, knew what it was like to be so full of Michael that he wanted to cry out and still needed more. But in all their adventures, nothing felt quite as erotic as this and Michael hadn't even gone below the belt yet.

He could have encouraged Michael to keep moving his lips down, could have rubbed up against him until they were both beyond thinking, could have flipped him over and showed him just how hot and bothered he was getting.

Instead, he pushed Michael up just enough that he could grab for the bottom of his shirt and pull it up and off of him. He hooked his leg around Michael's hip and twisted them, gasping a little at the friction as he settled back into position.

He studied Michael for a minute, taking in all the ways he looked happy at the moment, and then pressed his lips to Michael's jaw, drawing them across the skin until the stubble made his lips tingle.

[neverlooksaway]

Michael let Alex tug his shirt off, didn't fight the roll or the way Alex settled back against him. That moment of friction made him bite back a grown. He wanted this touching, wanted this slow, easy connection, wanted the slow build, even when his body was already aching.

He slid his fingers up under Alex's shirt, pushing it up and off to join his own, then tilted his head for Alex's mouth, eyes falling closed. His fingers slid back up Alex's back to tangle in his hair, keep his mouth there against his skin.

His hips rolled of their own accord, rocking into him, but slowly, more restless than deliberately falling into a rhythm. This was what he wanted, always. If they could stay like this, then nothing else would matter. None of it--none of the drama, none of the secrets, none of the worry for his family, for Alex. He dug his fingers into Alex's shoulders, holding on to him like he'd never let him go.

"That feels good..." It was just a murmur, and it was about more than what Alex's mouth was doing. It was all of it.

[thenewnormal]

Alex's mouth slipped down along Michael's neck. He hesitated when he got to the juncture between his neck and his shoulder. He'd been urging Michael along when he'd had his mouth in the same position on Alex's body and he hadn't done anything. So now when he sucked on Michael's neck, it was a bit tentative. If Michael didn't want to leave marks, he probably didn't want to receive them, either.

He bit down gently and then let go. It wasn't enough, especially not with the way Michael was moving against him, but it would do for the moment. He'd just have to get creative and find other places he could mark Michael.

"You feel good," he retorted. He leaned up and nipped Michael's chin before going back to his slow exploration.

This felt like some kind of dream. A happy dream where a moment seemed to last forever.

[neverlooksaway]

The almost-bites weren't nearly enough, but they teased in the best way. He murmured wordlessly, writhing a bit underneath Alex. His fingers slid into Alex's hair, twisting and tightening, trying to urge him toward more.

Need simmered under each touch, but he didn't want to rush things, either. He slid one hand down Alex's back, then back up his spine, then down again to tease along his waistband.

"So do you," he managed. "I..." He didn't know what he wanted to say. I want you. I love you. I need you. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I never want to let you go.

Alex's mouth hit a particularly pleasant spot, getting him a low groan out of Michael.

[thenewnormal]

The combination of Michael's hand in his hair and that groan caused Alex to pause. He was sucking sucking gently at Michael's nipple and planning on going lower, but there was something familiar in the way Michael had grabbed him. Like the way he'd grabbed Michael before they'd flipped positions.

He surged back up, kissing Michael hungrily and then went to his neck, giving it the attention it deserved.

He kissed it and bit it a little more and then he started sucking. He'd wanted one and he'd thought about giving Michael one and now he really was going to give him a hickey, one big enough to show.

[neverlooksaway]

Michael's moan this time was louder, as Alex's mouth hit all the right spots on his neck. He didn't care about it showing - just thought Alex would, but he supposed he'd been wrong. He twisted his fingers a little bit more in Alex's hair, releasing then tightening again.

His hips rolled in a much more purposeful way, if still unconscious, searching for friction. The slip of his fingers under the waistband of Alex's boxers was more deliberate. He wanted more of him, more of his mouth, of his skin, of his weight on him, pressing him into the bed.

"Alex..."

[thenewnormal]

"I did say I was going to seduce you," he murmured against Michael's skin. Except he hadn't because he'd been planning on drinking so they could talk. Except that now he wanted to seduce Michael. Especially with the way that Michael's hand on his ass kept encouraging him to move.

He eventually returned his mouth back to Michael's when he felt Michael was sufficiently marked and when the restless move of their hips got to be too much and he needed to taste Michael again.

But the restless movements weren't enough and he pulled back after another minute so he could start to slide his boxers off. Skin on skin was what he needed.

[neverlooksaway]

Michael definitely felt seduced, very seduced, properly seduced. His neck throbbed in the very best way, and he shivered at the knowledge that that mark would be there for anyone to see--he was pretty sure he didn't have a shirt collar that would hide it. Not that he wanted to hide it.

He all but devoured Alex's mouth when he kissed him again, lips and tongue hungry and needy as they played with Alex's. When Alex pulled back, he all but whimpered, until he realized why, and, yes. Okay. Boxers off was a great reason to separate just enough to make that happen. He still hated to take his hands off of Alex even for that moment, like if he did, Alex might change his mind, but he did, wriggling a bit to get them off...and brush up against Alex as he did.

[thenewnormal]

Alex could have rolled back on top of Michael when the underwear was off, but he felt like he was missing something. His fingers sought out and found the spot where he'd given Michael the hickey and they brushed the skin almost absently. Then he shook his head as if shaking off some kind of spell and grabbed Michael's hip, pulling him so he was on top.

"I think you need to finish what you started," he said and kissed Michael, grabbing Michael's hair tightly so that he wouldn't pull back once those lips got back down to his neck.

There were things about Michael he didn't approve of. Well, thing, really. Stealing. Because Michael was better than that. Could be better. But he'd let his father, both at the drive-in and through his research, put doubts in him about Michael and he didn't want that. Because there was a part of him that would always come back.

[neverlooksaway]

Michael made a sound of protest when Alex shifted their positions again, mostly because Alex's weight atop him was a delightful feeling he did not want to lose. But, then, Alex underneath him was a delightful thing, too. The brush of Alex's finger over the mark he'd left made him shiver.

He took the hint, though, kissing Alex back with a groan, and then kissed down the line of Alex's neck to the spot he'd been teasing at earlier. He wasn't thinking about anything now other than the slide of their bodies together, and it made him moan softly against Alex's skin.

The twist of fingers in his hair makes him writhe a bit more again, and then he bit down a little, sucking at the skin there with need of his own, while his hips rolled down against Alex's in slow, deliberate movements.

[thenewnormal]

Alex's entire body shuddered when Michael finally bit down and a soft whine came from the back of his throat. It might have been interpreted as a sound of protest but for the way he hooked a leg around Michael to keep him exactly where he was.

God, I love you. The words ran through his mind and he thought the self-doubt and sheer terror he felt about those words had kept it just in his head until he realized that his mouth was open. He let go of Michael's hair and instead, his fingers clung to Michael's back as if that could somehow protect him from the words.

Yes, he'd admitted that he'd loved Michael. In the past tense. As kids. It was another thing to admit that he still felt that way. That he'd never stopped feeling that way. And maybe the feelings had changed, but if anything, they'd only grown more mature, more complicated.

[neverlooksaway]

The words sail through Michael with the force of a shot arrow. At first, he sort of thought they were just in his own head, his own thoughts, but, no. That was Alex's voice, and it was aloud, and Alex was clinging to him now in a way that said, yes, he'd just heard that.

Michael stilled--not freezing in shock so much as putting a pause on distracting activity--and brushed another kiss over Alex's pulse before lifting his head to look at him.

After how this night had started, it was the last thing he expected to hear, but he most certainly wasn't complaining about that. Instead, he smiled slowly, then ducked his head to kiss Alex properly, slowly and thoroughly, before pulling back with another smile.

"I love you, too..."