Being away from Michael had been easy. He'd just shut off the part of himself that had wanted love and romance so that even the few times he'd tried for a relationship, all it had ended up being was some kind of friends with benefits relationship that left his partner unsatisified and himself feeling like he'd cheated.
He'd tried to forget Michael. He'd wanted to forget Michael because while they said that you never forgot your first love, being hung up over him year after year was kind of crazy. So ten years had blurred together and, by the time that he made it home, he'd expected Michael to have moved on by now. Or at least moved away.
But there he'd been on one of Alex's first days back into town, stepping into his space as if he belonged there and making Alex feel as if he was eighteen again. His heart hurt and maybe that was because it felt whole again, even if the only reason he touched Michael was to push him away. Even if his own desire to keep Michael at a distance faded away with a little bit of reminding of where they'd started, even if neither of them was the person they'd been.
It was crazy - they were crazy - and if he didn't know Michael was feeling the same thing, he might have suspected some alien witchery. But Michael was as drawn to him as it was the other way around and now he was trying to get a sense of the depth of Alex's feelings and Alex was floundering.
"It's too big," he said, eyes wide. "You're...You..." How to explain the unexplainable? Even though he knew what Michael was saying. Make me feel it, he'd said and Alex knew what that meant, but even the best he could do would fall short of how much he wanted Michael.
"I don't just want you," he said after a few moments trying to come up with the words. "I need you."
Because yes, he ran, mostly from his own cowardice. He'd been afraid that he'd never be able to stand up for himself and so he ran off to the military. He was afraid of what people - no, his father - would think of his relationship with Michael, and so he ran from Michael not once, but twice in the same day. He was afraid of what he'd found out about aliens and what it would mean and so he ran from Michael a third time.
But when he could see Michael, when he could touch him, his fear never managed to win for long.
"You're it for me," he whispered and then kissed Michael fast and hard.
no subject
Date: 2019-07-20 11:38 pm (UTC)He'd tried to forget Michael. He'd wanted to forget Michael because while they said that you never forgot your first love, being hung up over him year after year was kind of crazy. So ten years had blurred together and, by the time that he made it home, he'd expected Michael to have moved on by now. Or at least moved away.
But there he'd been on one of Alex's first days back into town, stepping into his space as if he belonged there and making Alex feel as if he was eighteen again. His heart hurt and maybe that was because it felt whole again, even if the only reason he touched Michael was to push him away. Even if his own desire to keep Michael at a distance faded away with a little bit of reminding of where they'd started, even if neither of them was the person they'd been.
It was crazy - they were crazy - and if he didn't know Michael was feeling the same thing, he might have suspected some alien witchery. But Michael was as drawn to him as it was the other way around and now he was trying to get a sense of the depth of Alex's feelings and Alex was floundering.
"It's too big," he said, eyes wide. "You're...You..." How to explain the unexplainable? Even though he knew what Michael was saying. Make me feel it, he'd said and Alex knew what that meant, but even the best he could do would fall short of how much he wanted Michael.
"I don't just want you," he said after a few moments trying to come up with the words. "I need you."
Because yes, he ran, mostly from his own cowardice. He'd been afraid that he'd never be able to stand up for himself and so he ran off to the military. He was afraid of what people - no, his father - would think of his relationship with Michael, and so he ran from Michael not once, but twice in the same day. He was afraid of what he'd found out about aliens and what it would mean and so he ran from Michael a third time.
But when he could see Michael, when he could touch him, his fear never managed to win for long.
"You're it for me," he whispered and then kissed Michael fast and hard.