There was such gentleness there that it almost broke Alex's heart. There were parts of him that hadn't waited for Michael. Parts of him that had had sex with other men in the years away. He'd even tried relationships that always seemed to fizzle out within months. Because there was a part of his heart that he'd reserved for Michael and it always seemed wrong to try to be with someone else.

He ran both hands through Michael's hair, not really guiding him anywhere in particular. He wanted the sex, sure, but what he needed was this intimacy. These moments that always seemed to make the other ones, the arguments and hurt feelings, easier to bear. And he knew there were going to be more arguments and hurt feelings. They never seemed to figure out how to stop them, not completely.

One of his hands broke its hold in Michael's hair and slipped down, stroking along his face, his cheeks, his lips. He felt a heavy weight on his chest, like he was drowning, but if that was the case, he didn't want to come up for air.